Wonderful People...

This week I learned a whole bunch of stuff:

• Our agency has a policy that states if we place ourselves "on hold" until we are more prepared to receive a referral then once we take ourselves "off hold" we re-enter the line at number 10 on the list. At that point if the agency is still receiving 5+ referrals per month then obviously we would receive a referral quickly, but if they return to 3 referrals every other month (impossible to predict) then we are looking at 6 or so month wait.
• We have wonderful family and friends! Since announcing that we may be receiving a referral sooner rather than later, we have had wonderful offers including a new crib (We sold Alex's thinking we were 'done') and helping out with childcare in the event I am doing my internship when we get this baby!
• Our social worker is fantastic and has a ton of patience. Okay, I knew this before but it was reaffirmed for me this week when I contacted her a whole bunch of times to try and figure this all out. She patiently walked me through how the next several months could transpire (we could be 'paper ready' for a referral anytime between late September and November), where we will stand at that point (we could receive a referral at any point we are paper ready...depending of if our agency receives female referrals at that time), and the expected travel time post referral (this is still a big question mark because of procedure changes but could be on the short end of the 2-6 month spectrum).

Some people have asked us what it means to be "paper ready" for a referral. This just means that we have received all the appropriate clearances from all of the appropriate authorities (state and federal) which one must have prior to being eligible for a referral. Because this is government stuff, delays occur frequently and the agency holds no power to speed things along.

Okay...so bottom line is that the only control we have over this whole thing is the ability to say "we aren't ready yet...so put us on hold." Given the unpredictability of future referrals Carl and I are inclined to NOT do that and instead to try and make this work as best as possible. So we are in the process of trying to make a plan which accommodates us bringing a baby home anytime between December 2007 (yes, I said December) and May 2008.

This plan would likely involve Carl and I taking turns with a short leave, and possibly me having reduced hours in an internship over a longer period of time to complete my degree. I will be exploring potential internships which allow some evening hours so I can be home more with the baby during the day, while Carl will be home in the evenings. We will also need to hire someone a couple of days per week for child care, hopefully in our home, for a while. We sat down with Alex to explain the possibilities and to let him know that things could be rough for a while once the baby arrives...right now he is just excited that she might come sooner than he thought would happen. I'm sure the "hey, wait a minute, I'm not getting much attention and mom and dad are running around like chickens with their heads cut off" reality will set in after she comes home.

This will be so incredibly difficult and so incredibly worth it....we are committed to making it work whenever it is supposed to happen.